I forgot this even existed.

So yeah..I hate journals..I hate people..I love my friends dearly..But I think too much so I instantly go from being happy to depressed.. I'm becoming too dependent on people again.. Like I somehow need them to survive which I probably do but what the hell.. I just think way too much and Christian is very..pointful? He makes good points a lot and I know I should try to use the advice he gives me but I can't out of plain fear..Bah I feel like I've failed somewhere in life

Today I stole Emily and took her to Mystic and we went through downtown Mystic towards the boardwalk and stayed there for nearly an hour looking for little sea creatures on this dingy dock. We managed to find quite a few crabbies and krayfish and other sorts of sea anemones and other things. We found this molted shell of a crab that I pointed out and Emily got cause she's brave and I had glasses on haha. Then she found another one which was a little female that also molted and we found a couple live ones that she wanted to catch but couldn't get to. So after that we found my mom and aunt and went to McDonalds where we had lunch. Emily and I got little snacky wrap things while my mom and aunt ironically got happy meals. Then we went to Mystic Village. We went in a lot of stores and saw duckies and got some dark chocolate with almond clusters in it 'cause we were kind of hungry. And..it was a really wonderful day ^^ Oh! Emily, also, saw my house which is COMPLETELY amazing 'cause noone ever does. 

The End. <3

Some more than others..

Eventually you grow to love watching people crash and burn all the time. And then you look at yourself and if it's not happening to you you feel like you've accomplished everything in a right way until it happens to you. Then you know exactly how that person feels all the time, but considering they end up like that more than you there is still pride in how long you've lasted. Until it's a cycle of never ending falls in a downward spiral and you see it happening to yourself more and more often. That's when you just snap and you lose all that pride and you realize what a cruel person you were all along to ever think that way to begin with.

Summer breeze makes me feel fine.

Growing Apart


Let's sit here and watch as they fall apart
As their hearts become worn and cruelly tart
One petrified in a waiting stone stance
The other moving like a graceful dance

She stands there and waits patiently for life
While days and nights pass and still his wife
Like a widow, she stands and watches for
Her sailor's ship to come back to shore

But as days go by and nights grow colder
This widow grows to be even older
After fifty years, he never returned
The widows hopes have faded and burned

And till this very day you can still see
The widow's hopes and ill-fated misery
Her body stands there very petrified
She stood in that same spot until she died
--
I've watched two people in secret for quite a bit now..and they just seem to be growing apart every time..so I wrote a poem about them

Lalala..I'm only updating because I'm feeling happy <3 Well..not real happy..just..good inside..I have very few friends who care..but I have two that matters most to me and take care of me and I'm extremely greatful to have them as friends..Unfortunately, I'm waiting for Mr. Kriced to return from the store..but he may have just passed out cause he was high..oh well a gal can wish right? Anywho..<3

So over Spring Break my cousin, aunt and I went to Gillette's Castle and she finally sent me the pictures she and I took there so I'm posting them here so any of my friends can see who know about this.

tah dah!

Let's update..hmm it's been over a month since that beautiful picture of spring..and yeah soo lately I've been talking to Mr. Kriced :P lol and we beat Donkey Kong Country 2 cause we're soo cool like that eh..and..hmm Spring Break was busy..Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday I hung out with Jay and my aunt..and that was fun I suppose then Friday Carolyn, her mom and I went to Connecticut College to listen to people talk about what to do for colleges and what not..not necessarily go to that college and since Carolyn asked I went..I wouldn't of wanted to go with anyone else..so that took all day and it was cool..and yesterday was my mArk's birthday but he was noooo where to be found hope he's having fun and not getting into trouble anywho..I'm gona go back to pestering Chris and play some Kirby Dream Course stuff